A Bit Of Advice Regarding Stones

Stones are dangerous. You have, no doubt, heard the expression “he killed two birds with one stone”? Well, this isn’t entirely true. The truth is, “he” ( his name is Brad) threw a stone in the air and the stone killed the birds of it’s own accord and then went down and killed Brad. That’s right, Brad is dead. Goodbye Brad, we’ll miss you.

Anyway, Stones are remarkable. They’re able to walk without legs, fly without wings,  see without eyes, rock without a chair or guitar, and talk without a mouth. They’re so quiet, they have been compared with Jackals. No one really knows what a Jackal is, but apparently they’re quiet.

They (stones, that is) sneak up in broad daylight, disguising themselves as (you guessed it!) rocks and proceed to swallow you whole. We don’t know how they do it because they don’t have mouths, but there are definitely signs of people being swallowed everywhere.

They have a hard time digesting us because they’re digestion is so rocky, but after they do, they just stay there. That’s how stones get to be boulders.

Anyway, all of this does have a point: don’t go near stones alone, and never mistake a rock for a stone. Stones are living, mouthlessly breathing, and killing forms, while rocks are just dead. Remember, Rocks=harmless. Stones=AAAUUUGGHHH!

Food for thought.

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