Of all of the scrumptious and crunchable foods that there are, Gingerbread is one of the most notorious, and I’m not talking Biggie here. It has a bad past (much like Biggie, now that I think about it) and is responsible for the fall of the Dutch empire.

Around 1205 A.D. a Dutch baker spilled some ginger sauce on a baguette, declared it good food and christened it “Gingerbread.” No one has ever found out why he named it thus, but so it was called.

Since then, Dutch people have loved Gingerbread and it has been eaten every day there. As a side note, Dutch people are malnourished because of the fact that when they eat sandwiches, they use Gingerbread, and end up losing most of it to crumbs falling pellmell and higgledy-piggledy on the ground.

Around 1943, near the start of World War Two, the “Fuehrer” as Hitler was called, had his sights set on the Dutch empire. They had a large abundance of milk and suspenders, not to mention that they were experts at braiding hair. He decided to attack during Christmas-time, a dirty below the belt trick, but that is how people with mustaches tend to do things.

The Dutch people had built a border wall entirely out of Gingerbread (apparently because they were out of cement and they were bored) and the people sat in their Gingerbread houses (hoping it wouldn’t rain), eating the eaves off of their homes, due to the rations.

By the time the German troops arrived riding their War-Geese, the Dutch border patrol had eaten all the way through their border wall, and the Germans raided the entire Dutch countryside, letting their Geese eat all of the Gingerbread, and drink as much milk as they could, all the while having the Dutch people braid their feathers.

Thus the Dutch people lost everything due to their obsession of Gingerbread and it’s many, many uses. It seems that too much of a good thing is bad.

Food for thought.

Also, as an afterthought, you might have noticed the picture of the gingerbread house at the beginning of this post. I made that. As you can see I have a real career going in professional artistry. The truth is, I wrote this post and then thought “I need a picture for it” (actually my first thought was “I wan’t gingerbread”) so I made this house with my cousins and then took a picture of it. The other side is decorated like that scene in Stranger Things where the mom writes the alphabet on the wall and has Christmas lights over them. It looks awesome. Boom.


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